| Scene opens with innkeeper asleep in bed, quiet music playing and heavy snoring. |
| FX - loud knocking at the door. Music and snoring stop. Innkeeper gets out of bed. Sound of him going down the stairs and creak of a door. As door creaks, Mary and Joseph appear. |
| Innkeeper | There’s no room here. |
| Joseph | But we’re tired and have travelled through night and day. |
| Innkeeper | I suppose there’s the stable round the back. (Pause to rummage around for blankets) Here’s two blankets (hands them over). What’s your names? |
| Joseph | Mary…and Joseph. |
| FX - door shuts - Mary and Joseph disappear. Sound of innkeeper climbing stairs. Gets back into bed and starts snoring again. |
| Another knock at the door. Snoring stops. Innkeeper gets out of bed with a disgruntled groan. Sound of him going down the stairs and creak of a door. As door creaks, Joseph appears again. |
| Innkeeper | Huh, it’s you again. |
| Joseph | Excuse me, I wonder if you could lend us another, smaller blanket. |
| Innkeeper | (Pause to rummage around) There. One smaller blanket. |
| FX - door shuts more firmly this time - Joseph disappears. Sound of innkeeper climbing stairs. Gets back into bed and starts snoring again. |
| Bright light shines straight on his face. Innkeeper gets up yawning and chuntering; looks up - big star hanging above him (maybe on a stick like a fishing rod) |
| Innkeeper: |
That’s all I need. |
| Gets back in bed, covering face with hands. |
| Yet another knock at the door. Snoring stops. Innkeeper gets out of bed even more disgruntled. Sound of him stomping down the stairs and creak of a door. As door creaks, three shepherds appear. |
| Shepherd |
We are three shepherds. |
| Innkeeper | Well, what’s the matter? Lost your sheep? |
| Shepherd | We’ve come to see Mary and Joseph. |
| Innkeeper | Round the back. |
| FX - door shuts very loudly this time - shepherds disappear. Sound of innkeeper stomping upstairs. Gets back into bed and starts snoring again |
| Yet another knock at the door. Snoring stops. Innkeeper gets out of bed really angry now. Sound of him stamping down the stairs and creak of a door. As door creaks, three(?) Kings appear. |
| King | We are three(?) kings. We’ve come….. |
| Innkeeper | ROUND THE BACK! |
| FX - door slams - kings disappear. Sound of innkeeper stamping upstairs. Gets back into bed and starts snoring again. |
| FX - Chorus of loud angelic singing. Raise backdrop of angels up into bedroom. |
| Innkeeper | (jumping out of bed and looking around him) RIGHT - THAT DOES IT!
FX - goes downstairs, out the door, round the back, chuntering……I’ll show them. They can’t expect to get away with this….etc
|
| Mary, Joseph, manger, king, shepherd appear. Innkeeper appears. |
| All(except innkeeper) | Sssssshhhhh! You’ll wake the baby! |
| Innkeeper | Baby? |
| Shepherd | Yes, a baby has been born here tonight. |
| Innkeeper | (still grumpy) Oh. Let’s see then. |
| Goes over and peers into manger. Grumpiness disappears. |
| Innkeeper | Ohhhhh. Isn’t he lovely! Wow! I’m going to wake everyone up to tell them. (goes off. Others freeze.) Come on you lot. Wake up. Come and see. Yes, of course I know it’s the middle of the night but this is really special. |
| Innkeeper appears back. Raise backdrop of other guests behind manger scene. |
| Innkeeper | See, I told you. This is a very special baby. It’s time to party. |
| FX - loud party music (Celebration - Kool and the Gang?) All dance around |
| Sign - THE END - all take a bow. |